Even Brad Pitt Knows Image is Only a First Impression

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages.” 

–William Shakespeare

Brad Pitt once said, "I stopped trying to be perfect a long time ago." He is aware he is a walking billboard, an image that somehow walked out onto the street. He knows he is more than what we see on screens, of course, but keeping the image, as he must, while evolving it beyond the big screen is not easy, even for a man in a bubble of money and publicists.

But how can a man, not a movie star, be what he seems while still showing his best self?

First, being what you seem doesn’t mean showing up at work as the unshaven mess you were at six in the morning, even though you are that guy too. That’s just not what a gentleman is; a gentleman is a man who is not only himself, but a man who puts others at ease, who makes others feel comfortable, and a big part of that is manners, and dressing and behaving in a controlled, thoughtful manner; it is taking pains to do things right. How you dress, how you behave, and what you say are reflections of who you are—in fact, it’s one way to become the man you want to be.

If you want to be a doctor, how well you wear your white coat, how you behave, the words you use, are what can separate the kindly doctor with a bedside manner that inspires confidence and trust from the perhaps equally well-trained but sloppy, awkward, and curt doctor whose bedside manner inspires doubt and even fear. You need to remember, too, that choosing one route means not choosing another. If you’re interested in medicine but decide you’re hopeless with people, then perhaps you’d be better off as a medical researcher.

If you see a tie as a leash that empowers corporate America to drag you around to make you sit where it pleases, then you don’t belong in a workplace that demands you wear a suit and tie. If you find it embarrassing or belittling to be in a janitor’s overalls, then that occupation is not for you. This isn’t to say that you should quit and starve. A man does what he must to feed his family. But it does mean you should be in night school or whatever else it will take to get you out of the role that is eating away at you. You need hope. You need to climb out of your despair and if the doors aren’t open to you, you must open a window; if the windows are all barred, you must make your own doorway.

Along the way, remember that image isn’t everything, just the first thing. If you want to reach the next floor, you must look the part. If, however, you must wear a costume that doesn’t fit to try to make it to the top floor then people will notice, as you won’t feel comfortable in the role. So before you ask for something, including a promotion, ask yourself what you want and talk to others to get better information about what’s really beyond the next door.

Playing parts that fit you in each chapter of your life, now that’s the good stuff.