What Women See in Your Profile

Elizabeth Kantor, the author of The Jane Austen Guide to Happily Ever After, once told me she doesn’t trust a man she can’t find much about online. This surprised me, as I have always been cautious about putting too much of my personal life out there. When I pushed back, she said, “Well, I suppose some older men aren’t comfortable with being open on social media.” I got my first email address in 1993 when I was a freshman in college, so I don’t consider myself a technophobe.

Still, though I don’t think she is completely right (many good men I know don’t like to talk about themselves period, and online especially), her perspective is revealing. Women will Google you. They will look over your social media. They will appreciate finding out who you are—so what you have posted better represent who you really are at your best. 

Manage Online Photos

A good rule of thumb is don’t post anything you wouldn’t want your mother to see. Remember that a photo that might seem funny at the time, might not seem funny in the cold light of morning—or a year or two or three later, when it could cost you (or a buddy) a job or a relationship.

A Man’s Online Profile Needs These Accoutrements

An online profile—or all that is publicly searchable about you—shouldn’t be so empty that it seems like you’re hiding big dark secrets. You can round out your story with video posts that highlight your interests (like, say, skiing); photos that show you hard at work are usually not a bad idea; and blogs that highlight intellectual interests (anything from mathematics to viticulture) can illustrate a bit of your depth. Things to avoid—or to be extremely cautious about—are online comments on other posts, likes, and online “friends.” There is guilt by association in life and online. Don’t just click yes on everyone who wants to be your friend; choose your friends wisely; be careful about who and what you like; and remember that every comment can be turned against you if it is sophomoric, controversial, or could be taken out of context. Ideally, your online profile should be your professional portfolio. Other people will certainly regard it as such. Employers routinely look for more information on potential employees by googling their names.